[LeChuck watched the news with great interest this morning. So that's what that dream was trying to pull, eh? Good thing he didn't fall for it, and there were plenty of other suckers who did so he could have his heat back on. He had a good laugh listening to the newly introduced doppelgangers on the phone, pleading with their friends to believe that they were real and they hadn't been spirited away in the night. Did they really think they were fooling anybody? They certainly weren't fooling LeChuck! After sitting by and listening in on the various reactions, he picks up the receiver and decides to poke the hornet's nest a little.]

[There's the sound of loud yawning on the phone before LeChuck actually speaks.]

I had the most wonderful dream last night! My archenemy was soundly defeated, I was to be wed to the love of my life, and I was the new ruler of the Tri-Island area! Ah, such a pity it was all just a dream, yes? Why, if I were to make a Christmas wish, perhaps I would wish for it to come true!

Did anyone else happen to catch the news this morning? How sad, and yet, how noble! Can you imagine never existing ever again? Never again seeing your loved ones? Very chilling! I consider myself a brave man, but I don't think even I could have taken such a plunge.

And that is why I must be a voice of dissent and say that these replacements that Mayfield has provided us are simply inappropriate! I'm sure it was meant to be a kind gesture, but just listen to them! Claiming that they are the originals and this is all a trick! Our brave and selfless friends deserve to be honored, not impersonated in such a grossly inaccurate manner. Surely there are others that agree?

( Narration: 2241 Stevens )

[Phone: Open to all]

[Some time later, LeChuck has composed himself. He has an IDEA. An idea that may end badly for everyone else, but would provide loads of entertainment for him. And that's what really matters in the end.]

Good afternoon, everyone! Captain LeChuck here, and I must say, the local tavern here is woefully inadequate! Did you know they don't serve grog there? The owner doesn't even know what grog IS! How could this town have gone so long without it? I can hardly imagine it! But what kind of pirate would I be if I just stood around complaining? No, I am a man of action! I am going to brew my own grog, and show this town what a REAL drink is! Consider yourself lucky today!

...Of course, I'm going to need a few ingredients first! I'm afraid I'm still not very familiar with this town to know where I could find them all! And that is where you all come in! I have the list right here, I just need assistance in finding them all! It'll be like a fetch quest! A treasure hunt! A puzzle, even! In return for aiding me, you'll get a taste of the finest drink the Caribbean has to offer!

Well, any takers?

[You can almost hear the cheesy grin on his face.]

( narration up in here )

Action: All over the place:

[The mild-mannered Charles L. Charles is out for a stroll, an ear-to-ear grin on his face and... a large meat cleaver in one hand.

It's already covered in blood.

Oh dear.

Approach, or run away screaming?]

((ooc: LeChuck is not murderdroned, he's just looking for some fun. >:D))

( narration up in here )

Erm, is this thing on? [tap, tap, tap.] If anyone can hear me... does this sort of thing happen often? It seems awfully barbaric! [and wonderful] Nobody seems particularly happy about it... [more for him, he supposes!] but if it is our civic duty to carry out, I suppose there's nothing that can be done! This is quite the rock and hard place!

I simply cannot bear the thought of anyone getting into trouble if they can't bring themselves to do this, though! Nasty, nasty business, I agree! But, I have lived a hard life and I can handle making difficult choices, so if you find this particularly abhorrent, please come talk to me! I will do my best to help! You have my word as a captain.

[sits back, steeples fingers.]

( Narration/the second-biggest wall of text I've ever seen )

[PHONE: It seems one of the darling little drone children at 2241 Stevens Rd left the phone off the hook, and you may find yourself awoken by the sound of a kitchen table flying across a room. Gee, I sure hope nobody got hurt!]

[ACTION: Later in the day, you might spot an extremely large man with a beard of absolutely epic proportions wandering through the town, looking bewildered and wearing his Mayfield-provided sweater vest backwards. Every now and then he stops to examine a mailbox, perplexed by the little red flag on the side.]